I caught up with an old classmate recently, and our conversation took a turn that left a deep impression on me.
You see, she’d lost her home in a fire.
I haven’t ever experienced grief this way, but I can only imagine the pain she and her husband felt, especially since they didn’t just lose the house they had built, but also one of their cherished fur-babies. I didn’t know how I could help; I didn’t have the means to extend monetary assistance. So I told her if she ever needed help planning her new home, that she could always message me whenever she was ready.
It’s been seven months since I made the offer, and I was so glad to finally hear that she was ready to discuss their new home with me.
As we talked, it was clear to me that our conversation wasn’t just going to be about creating furniture layouts and selecting pieces to fill their new condo. We also talked about the memories, the little quirks of their place, and the life she and her husband had built there that had gone up in flames.
The devastation wasn’t only in the physical loss. It was in the sudden, painful realization that her sense of home had been tied so closely to those walls surrounding them.
Why our homes mean so much to us
It got me thinking about how much we take for granted the meanings we attach to our spaces.
Yes, these houses or condos or apartments provide us shelter. But they’re more than that: They’re also where our lives unfold.
The laughter, the tears, the quiet moments of peace, the bursts of anger and anxiety—they’re all absorbed by the walls around us, weaving our life story. And losing that, like my classmate did, is like losing a piece of yourself.
It became clear to me that rebuilding for her wasn’t going to be about just renovating bought property. We weren’t just picking out furniture, selecting wall paint or designing new cabinets. It felt a lot like embarking on an entirely new journey about healing, about finding a new way to live in a space that could once again feel like home.
And to be honest, that’s no small task. I can understand why it took her some time to get in touch with me.
Deciding to start over takes guts and a lot of heart to move past the loss and pain. There’s that sense of saying goodbye to the lives you once lived…since when has that been easy for anyone?
It probably also involved a lot of tough conversations with her husband (or herself) about what they truly wanted their next chapter to look like, and really understanding how they wanted to live their lives from here on out.
Losing a home—even imagining it—brings a sharp clarity to how deeply our surroundings are intertwined with our sense of self. That realization stayed with me as I thought about how we sometimes move through our lives on autopilot, especially when it comes to our homes.
This naturally led me to consider the importance of being intentional with our spaces—a lesson my friend’s journey highlighted in a way I hadn’t fully appreciated before.
Intentional living: Looking for the meaning of home through space-planning
As my classmate shared her plans and ideas for their new home, I noticed how every decision was being made with careful consideration.
Sure, she’s probably considering the whole aesthetic of their living situation, but more than that, it seemed to me that she was focusing on how their future home would serve her and her husband’s needs; how it would make them feel; and how it could be a source of comfort and security.
I couldn’t help but think about how often we make decisions about our own homes on autopilot. We buy furniture because it’s on sale, choose colors because they’re trendy, or arrange a room based on what we’ve seen elsewhere, without really considering whether those choices truly serve us.
And let’s be honest, in smaller spaces, these decisions can make or break how functional and cozy our homes feel.
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So being intentional with our spaces means taking the time to understand how we live, what we need, and what truly brings us joy. We don’t just fill a room with stuff. We have to curate a space that feels like home in every sense.
In smaller homes, where every square foot counts, this becomes even more crucial. Every choice, from the size of the couch to the placement of a lamp, can have a big impact on how a space functions and feels.
My classmate’s thoughtful approach reminded me of the importance of taking a step back and asking ourselves: What do I really need from this space? How can I make it work better for me and my family?
My personal journey of rediscovering home
It’s one thing to talk about intentional living and creating spaces that feel just right, but actually living in a home that doesn’t reflect who you are or where you want to be? That’s a whole different experience…one I know all too well.
You’d think that as a design professional, my own home would be picture-perfect, right?
Not exactly.
For over a decade, I put off fixing up our place. Being both business owners and freelancers now, my husband and I don’t have the same financial flexibility we used to when we were employed. I knew that renovation was long overdue. But we always just had other, seemingly more urgent expenses that took precedence.
Pretty soon, the house became a constant reminder of everything that wasn’t working in my life. Clutter piled up, repairs went untouched, and the once-welcoming rooms turned into sources of stress. Every time I walked through the door, I felt the weight of it all: the feeling that I was failing to create the kind of home my family deserved. It was as if the space had stopped serving us, and we were the ones trying to keep up with the chaos, managing the mess, and constantly telling ourselves, “We’ll fix that someday.”
The pandemic brought everything to a head, making the problems at home even harder to ignore. It took a toll on my mental, emotional, and psychological health. In a span of four years, I was diagnosed with several illnesses, which I’m sure were made worse by the state of our house. Being ill brings with it all sorts of new financial obligations. I buckled under the stress of needing to earn more and having to pay for more. All the while, our house slowly crumbled to the point where I felt it was mirroring the state of my health and my sanity. And it also created cracks in our family relationships.
I eventually began begging my husband to sell the house, to just cut our losses and leave. But he and the kids wanted to stick it out, clinging to the home that we built together. It must have hurt them to think I wanted to give up on it so easily.
That’s when I realized I had to stop using our financial ups and downs as an excuse.
Owning a business meant income was unpredictable, and I often ended up pouring all our revenue back into it, neglecting my own pay in the process. This year, I decided to get serious about financial management, making sure I always got paid a salary. I also took on extra freelance jobs in other fields I knew I could easily excel in, like publishing and digital marketing.
This extra income not only helped me start a fund for our much-needed renovations but also allowed me to finally support my parents (something I’d been wanting to do a good part of my entire working life), who also had their own health issues to deal with.
I additionally took steps to heal mentally and spiritually. I embraced meditation, learned a bit of Reiki healing, and reconnected with my spiritual side through prayer. Every day, I made it a point to count my blessings with my kids, focusing on what we were grateful for. This mindset shift helped me see the abundance in my life—not in terms of money, but in the rich relationships and experiences I have.
Realizing the importance of my environment’s impact on my well-being, I knew it was time to start taking care of our physical space just as much as I was taking care of my inner self. It became clear that renewing our home could be a powerful extension of the self-care practices that were slowly transforming my life.
The impact of small changes on home and well-being
The decision to renovate our home was a critical part of my journey towards better well-being. We didn’t have a big budget, but we were determined to make impactful changes with what we could afford.
With the help of our trusted general contractor and just one month at our disposal, I decided to focus first on the combined kitchen and dining spaces and our combined laundry and roofdeck. These were spaces where I felt improvements could enhance our daily lives the most. These were also the areas that had the most amount of disrepair.
The transformation began with the kitchen and dining space, which had become more of a source of frustration than the heart of our home. We opened up the layout, added more functional storage, and chose colors and materials that reflected more of our personal taste and less of the original builder’s basic finishes. These changes made the kitchen not only a place to cook but a space where we could gather and share meals in comfort.
I also relished on finally being able to organize all the mess in kitchen!
Up on the roofdeck, we tackled the clutter that had built up over the years, adding essential laundry storage and laying down artificial turf to create a dual-purpose space. This new setup gave us a chill green spot right in the middle of the city. It also let us have some fun and move around as a family, doing stuff we’d usually go to a park for but lacked easy access to nearby.
Even though the changes were pretty simple, they really transformed how we live and feel at home. I didn’t feel embarrassed about entertaining in our kitchen and dining space anymore. I noticed too that cooking has become such a lovely experience when there is space for every pot, pan, condiment, and utensil at my disposal.
And the roofdeck? It’s become the perfect spot for chilling out, having fun, and getting active together as a family. My kids have played bocce ball up there, we’ve star-gazed and moon-gazed some nights, and every day, my husband gets to practice his golf swings. When I need to do mindful breaks between jobs, I take a breather upstairs so I can meditate and recenter myself.
Renovating our home taught me a valuable lesson about the power of small changes. Each modification didn’t just alter a part of our house—it improved our quality of life. It also became a form of self-care, echoing the inner work I was doing through meditation and spiritual practices. I found a renewed sense of energy and purpose with each improvement, motivating me to continue investing in both our living space and my personal growth.
The homes we love and the selves we nurture
Looking back on the changes I’ve made around me and within me, it’s clear that home is so much more than just the walls that surround us. While home is a place where I find comfort and peace, it’s also where I grow personally, where I strengthen my relationships, and where I look after my health. It really touches every part of my life and shapes who I am.
Home includes so many different things—it’s the kitchen where family meals are made, a quiet nook where one can relax or reflect, or a space where everyone can relax and enjoy each other’s company. At the same time, it’s also in the order of a neatly arranged drawer, the care put into a homemade dish, the personal touches one adds around the house. Likewise, taking care of one’s body with thoughtful eating, consistent exercise, and proper rest has become just as much a part of home as any decorating or remodeling effort.
Each small step we take to improve our space—whether it’s decluttering a corner, adding a splash of color, or reorganizing a closet—can mirror the steps we take to enhance our physical health, such as choosing healthier foods, finding time for movement, or ensuring we get enough sleep. We’re not just doing these things for the sake of superficial beauty. We’re creating environments and lifestyles that uplift and support us, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
So, as you think about your own space, consider this: What small changes can you make that won’t just transform your home but also enhance your well-being? How can caring for your space inspire you to care more attentively for your own physical health? How can you make your home more reflective of who you are and the relationships you cherish?
Remember, creating a home you love is a lifelong journey. It’s about continuously discovering new ways to grow and evolve your space. Give yourself grace and patience, because there will be ups and downs. Just like my family encouraged me to stick with our home through challenging times, and just like my classmate is not giving up on building a new home for her family, it’s important to keep going.
Creating a home you love isn’t perfecting the look of the place you live in. It’s about caring for your health, cherishing your relationships, and nurturing the qualities that make your space truly yours.
Continue your home journey with me
After sharing my own journey and lessons about creating a home that truly reflects who you are, I’d love to help you do the same. If this conversation sparked ideas or questions about your own space, why not dive deeper together?
Booking a one-on-one consult with me isn’t just about making decisions on decor or layout. It’s about weaving your personal story into your home, ensuring every nook resonates with your unique spirit and lifestyle. Here’s how we can make your space a sanctuary that supports and reflects not just your style, but your well-being:
- Explore any plans you may already have. Perfect if you’re planning a remodel or refresh and need some guidance.
- Virtually style your space together. Let’s throw around any decorating ideas so you get professional feedback to ensure they work.
- Easily meet via Zoom. We’ll meet over video call on any mobile device, which means you can walk me through your space live, making our session as dynamic and interactive as possible.
- Get hands-on help. If you love getting involved, measuring up, and making sure everything fits perfectly, I’m here to guide you.
- Visualize your ideas. Bring your Pinterest saves, mood boards, or any inspirations, and we’ll see how they can translate into your space.
- Book a call simply and securely. Everything’s done online, ensuring a smooth and hassle-free start to our session.
If you’re ready to take the next step in crafting a home that deeply supports and enriches your life, I’m here to journey with you.
Together, let’s ensure your home is not just a place you live, but a space where you truly thrive.
Photo of hand holding mobile phone over breakfast table by Prykhodov from Getty Images. All other photos by Gal at Home®.
For full transparency and clarity, please note that this content was created with the use of Artificial Intelligence, you can view our full AI Use disclosure here.
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